Memories

Poly life have been great except for the fact that my class is not bonded at all. Lucky for me i have my guitar friends and they are all fun to be with. Well I think its alright to not have lots of friends but few great ones. Busy with FYP now and I am really scared and worried about it. I find myself getting lazy at everything and i really need some motivation. Can't really blame my lecturer for not answering my emails and I really do need to put more effort in the research part of the FYP. Although sometimes I don't really feel like a leader at all, I am still glad I have a very reliable teammate. As for my second teammate, i really wish he would start to be more proactive and focused. Apart from my FYP, I am actually really scared of everything right now. I am scared of how quickly my polytechnic life is gonna end, how I am gonna miss my lab sessions and lunch times with my friends. I will really miss those times I spent in the clubroom, those supper, those friends that share the same interest. I am scared that after poly, I am gonna begin my life as a soldier and I am afraid how I may lose contact with everyone, how those ties we had start to loosen. I don't really care what position I am in what unit what division. I really wish that in my army days, I can still keep in touch with those I love. I am scared that when I graduate, I may actually finally be moving out and be independant. Its scary to think that you are in a stranger's house and there dont seem to be any place safe to store your things. I really wish that eventually I can rent a really small apartment and furnish it into a small but cosy place I can call home. I am scared that when I start to work after my army days, I would be left out while others are studying in Universities. It sounded so convincing when I told my parents how my company I work in can fund my studies. It is actually very difficult to just that and I am already scared that I will be employed into companies that doesn't allow me to grow. Of all the things I am afraid of, I am scared of being unable to fulfill my dream: Having a family Honestly I don't really have many things that I truly wanna do. I don't really wanna be super rich. I don't really wanna be famous. I don't really wanna contribute to the world like how the scientists did. What I really wanna do is to meet someone who truly understands me, accept me, and love me with all her heart. Then, my dream would be to make her happy , have a family with her and make a difference to her world. I have met many girls but none would accept me as someone who can make a difference to her world. There are so many things I want to do as a couple, but no one actually wants me to do just that. I guess eventually I will have to do everything alone and be alone all my life. I haven't grown from being a coward too. Scared of how things can turn out if I make a decision and hence choose to escape from it. Like how I really like her but eventually she is with another guy. I really do lack the courage. I sincerely hope that the next time I blog, my post would be full of great, fantastic news;something with more life to it. Till next time

Lightbulb? Yours truly.

If anybody is keen on changing their light bulbs or you know, just sick of the old one, call me. I am sure I will outshine all of the lightbulbs in the world. Nah dont worry. Its green. Energy saving , recyclable, biodegradable and many more. Too many functions. You may need to have space though. And food.

Anyway, had the hardest Physical Chemistry paper ever. And lets stop there. I haven't recovered from the blow entirely.

Well luckily, I have a movie outing after that. Or not. You know the feeling you get when someone just told you don't wanna go for the movie we planned to catch a few days before anymore. She wanna go shopping, something that was dexided on the spot. I mean I was all excited for a bit, a good gathering kind of thing. But BAM! She told you she would ratherbgo shopping.

Actually, Sim ,her hubby(Cheng Keat) Me and Shan bin planned to.catch a movie after the last paper. In the end, Shan wanted to.go shopping with Jean. Thats not the best part. The best part is what Jean said. Cited forom Jean, ' She also.never say she wanna go what. Why you like force her like that.She say she don't wanna go then dont wanna go lah!' Something like that. Horrible. Why in the world, must you say something like that! Damn!

Putting tht aside, instead of watching the conjuring, we watched The Internship.instead. Nice movie, good humour, despite the fact that they are actually selling google 99% of.the time, ok.maybe 98%. But anyway, the movie inspired me quite a bit.
There is this Youth Research Programme by IBN, introduced by my cousin. I am really interested in it and I really hope I can get in. Truth to.be told, I was, you know, not confident. I mean dude, you are competing with a whole population of school students secondary schools polytechnics universities. No way am I gonna make it. In front of those elites, I am just a joke. Like a clown.in oversized pants. Okay not a clown. An idiot maybe. You know what i mean?

Now this movie, it gave me an inspiraration.What may seem impossible suddenly became so possible. Whats worse then a no ?〔cited from my lecturer, Mr Tan〕I too, firmly believe in that. Being able to be in would.be the best. But geting a no is not worse. If you get a no, you will still be acknowledged at being a brave and courages man. All may seem too positive but come on, how does thinking negatively help you?

Apart from all these seriousness, I, have once again, shone brightly as a lightbulb today. Sitting in a cinema, lights out, movie playing. on my left was CK, holding on to Sim's bare hands. I am not gonna tell you that holding hands in a cinema is a Public Display of Affection. But it made me think that hey, having a girlfriend is not a bad idea. But almost immediately, I chunked this stupid idea to.the back.of my head and stared at the screen again.

Another thing that got me into my head was that, i felt lonely. Its like watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows alone all over again.

Thats the end of my post:) On the way back home, almost reaching. Been typing since Bueona Vista. Glad that i blogged instead of plsying games. Conducive and productive. Cheers!

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Feelings

Sitting in the Fantasia room with the couple, Khaliesah and Ryan, doing work, with my headphones on. I think it must be instagram and the music. I thought back the time when I did something stupid. Again.

I didnt know why but I told her how I felt. I dont know what answer to expect but the thing that I torally didnt expect was...the picture she posted on Instagram the next day. I think it is done to show me, to answer me.

Heart broken.Who would'nt?

Its just like the time when I bought a Polaroid as a gift. And in the end, it was still over. Now that I am in Poly?, I will.never make the same mistake again. To like a girl.

I guess these two experiences have made me afraid to have a relationship. Really, not at this age. Or, not ever gonna happen.

I just think that my friends around me who are in a relationship are really fortunate. They love.And they are loved back. I dont wanna love anymore. I am scared. I dont want to hurt myself. More importantly, I dont wanna disappoint and hurt a girl. I have seen too much of it.

Too those in a relationship, dont take love lightly.

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I am back

So what made me blog again? Well actually my classmate Sim has a blog and its a secret. Dor her boy friend of course. Anyway, seems like my last post was still in my Secondaey school days. Now, i am actually a POLY student. I will write tentatively the life I have experienced so far in SP bit for now I shall talk about today:) I am actually blogging in the car, on the way back home from East coast park after a Seafood feast, right now with my first ever touch phone小米2:))) Am anticipating the covers to come soon since bro is xoming back to Singapore from his intern in HK.
Anyway, today is Hari Raya so its a

Anyway, today was a blast! Although the actual plan was a trip to Malaysia(Cameran Highlands, actually i dont know if i spell it correctly), we( uncle aunt cousin da yi and me) were out for the whole day.

Firstly we ate Macs for breakfast. Big breakfast taste monotonous to me. Originally we wanted to cycle but end up walking in the Riverside park for a while.

We then went to ehub to bowl. My ball curved oh my god hope i remember how i did it in future.
And so.we walked around for a little bit ate lunch in a small restaurant(fish head curry bean sprout with salty fish pork meat and prawn sauce chicken and barley watet)and went to Party World for Karaoke weeee:)

Lastly we went to East Coast Park for seafood. Not as good as i hoped for( chilli crab mee goreng duck meat wrap kankong cereal prawn) walked around for a bit and yup head foer home! In fact now am in the carpark hahah.

Lastly, Saturday and Sunday is gonna be my competition. First time playing for SP o.O

Now back home for work!

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Brittany

I really wish Brittany well!She was pie crying none stop!She said that she dreamt of him, thought of the good things he did to her and what they went through together.Its all making her cry:/Heard from Jeng Woon that the guy actually wanna patch up.(Dude then why break up at first place.)I mean it will be so awkward and the purpose for getting together is just to make her feel better but not trully loving her(if there was ever true love)Other than that,Brit is quite alright and kickin!Wish she could turn back to her old self as soon as possible.
Well today Jon is ill and so did not attend school.First lesson was boring as Mrs Yoga went on to babble about stuff that teens like us do not like to lpay attention to.Then it was Chem and Phy....not much la.English was like sian cos the class super noisy then cannot hear the teacher.Geog was as boring as ever.
After school met Brit,go to field,help with painting the field for a bit(helping coach to see whether the lines are straight actually) ,throw ball for a bit,and went back to Brit again with Rueben and Lynette with her.Done abit of Chem and yup thats all.
Hope tommorow will be another awesome day;)

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Revival

After so long and I am finally back:) Friends are awesome as ever and I dont think my life is a joke;) There is a change though: I dont think I believe in long lasting love anymore.
Well not now anyway. I mean there were so many cases of being depressed due to love especially among my friends.
Now it is nearing the O levels, the last year in Sec school.I  have found true friends and baseball;) I think its quite enough for my life now:)
Oh today I went to the Harry Potter exhibition.It was worth the time because the props are nice.BUT the things they sell there are way over charged.A small box of jelly beans for six dollars??? WOW I wonder how many jelly beans I can buy with that man.Haha d my bro keep saying"WAAHH we can buy like two games sia-----"Haha well makes sense since one wand is like $75 and a pendant is $100.SGD.WOW.
Tmr is the start of school and I am looking forward to it since I will be spending recess with BRITTANY , JENG WOON AND JON:) Haha well its ultimately becos brit just broke up with her boyfriend(Aloysious i think) yesterday and i will be accompanying her :) I will be staying in sch till 6??? YUP hehe
25June here I come!!(2.5 more hours!)

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Then,i blanked out and another scene unfold before my eyes...the fateful incident...

Yay!I finally found a way to blog!What a break through;)
Today is a day worth remembering because something happen...for the first time!Hopefully it wont be the last;)Well i believe that there are many kinds of first time but for my case,it is a happy one;)A happy first time is something that tempts you to have the next time or hope for the second time.Whether it is purposefully or coincidentally,it is still something worth hoping for to happen again isn't it?
And i hope it does;)